You're so nebulous sometimes
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
