I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I want to fling myself into the sun
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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