super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
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That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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