So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
