Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
