im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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