no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
