I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
please come you make the beer taste better
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
