I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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