what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
