it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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