I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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