Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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