I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize