just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
