nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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