I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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