I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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