Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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