You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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