I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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