My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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