I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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