Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
