I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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