Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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