The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
zippers are such a cool invention
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
