I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
