You're completely useless in the revolution.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish you could order shots online.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
