Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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