WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
