ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
last night I used snow as a chaser
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
