How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
