Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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