i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
