We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
