I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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