so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
