it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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