I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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