he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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