I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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