I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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