Your tits are I can't wait for
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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