I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
