i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
