someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
