hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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