Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
