Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
