I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
