Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
