The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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