how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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