I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
