Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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