OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
