We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize