I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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